The Devil Hates a Happy Marriage (pt. 1)

“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you” (Mat. 6:33). Yesterday, I wrapped up counseling with a couple whose marriage was on the brink of disaster. By the time they decided to come and see me, they had both already “lawyered up” and had one foot out the marriage door, so to speak. Honestly, I didn’t feel very optimistic about their chances of repairing the significant damage they had both inflicted on the marriage. Each considered the other the source of the conflict and the instigator of their current situation. Nevertheless, they had both decided to give it “one last shot” and reached out to me for help.

By their own admission, they had journeyed from a place of deep love to one of bitter resentment. Once a sanctuary of love, peace, and tranquility, their home had turned into a battlefield of anger, silence, and misunderstanding. I refer to this downward spiral as 'From Loving to Loathing.” On the first day, they sat across from me in my office, I saw anger in their eyes but also hurt and despair. Initially, neither was willing to speak, but after I encouraged a conversation, their tempers flared, and accusations started to fly. I had to intervene and calm frayed nerves before everything spiraled out of control.

One of the first things I ask a couple who comes to see me for counseling is, “Are you here to try to move forward, or are you here so that you can tell your conscience and the judge you tried, but the other person failed?” If the latter is the reason, you are wasting my time and yours. If it is the former, you must commit to mending something that will not magically fix itself overnight. I also repeat something I say to every counselee: “How you got to today is not as important as where you go from here.” Of course, the past must be dealt with to understand what caused the damage, but the key to future happiness is in front of you, not behind you.

Here is the point of today’s article: the devil is relentless in his pursuit to destroy what God has established. Marriage, a sacrament created by God Himself in the Garden of Eden, is naturally a prime target for the devil's attacks. I imagine Satan finds no greater joy than when a marriage dissolves, as it tears apart the fabric of a successful union and harms any children who are innocently involved. Except in psychotic cases, neither partner sets out to ridicule and disparage the other over many years. No one enters a marriage expecting it to end in a fiery and hateful divorce. It is important to note that marriage is ordained and blessed by God, so its dissolution must be attributed to the Devil.

Satan’s goal is to replace love with indifference, unity with division, and hope with despair. Jesus warned us of his mission in Joh. 10:10: “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” The devil thrives in an environment where God is absent or sidelined. Couples become vulnerable when prayer is neglected, worship is abandoned, and selfishness takes hold. A garden overrun with weeds will never thrive; instead, it will be deprived of nutrients and sunlight, ultimately causing it to die. Similarly, any marriage that is not fed with God’s spirituality is fed by the hatred of the devil and will die.

The truth is, every marriage in the world has three partners from the beginning. That may sound scandalous, but let me explain: either there is a man, a woman, and Christ, or there is a man, a woman, and the devil. There is no in-between. There has never been, nor will there ever be, a marriage with only two partners – there must be a third partner that influences and directs the trajectory of the marriage. Once this is fully understood, the marriage can be defined as either happy and successful or a disaster waiting to happen. TBC.