The Devil Hates a Happy Marriage (pt. 2)
“But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God” (1Co. 11:3). From the beginning, Satan has sought to sow discord in relationships. His tactics have never changed: he still uses pride, lies, selfishness, and worldly distractions to achieve his goal of tearing successful, happy marriages apart. I ended the last article by stating that every marriage has three partners: either the man, the woman, and Satan, or the man, the woman, and Christ. Today, I want to examine scriptural marriages, but before I do, I want to emphasize the following truth: your marriage will have little chance of survival absent two critical components – God must be the number one focus of your life, and Christ has to be the primary partner in your marriage.
The turning point in the marriage of the couple who sought my counseling came when they realized they could not fix their relationship on their own. They committed to putting God first and turned to the Bible as their guide for restoring their marriage. It was then that they discovered God’s threefold plan for marriage, based on today’s scripture selection. The foundation of His plan for marriage begins with Christ as the ultimate authority. As the head of every man, Christ serves as the perfect example of sacrificial love, servant leadership, and unwavering obedience to the Father. In a marriage, both husband and wife must submit first to Christ, aligning their lives and union with His will.
Paul teaches that the husband is the head of the wife, reflecting Christ's leadership role over the church. However, this headship is not about dominance or control but about servant-hearted leadership. Just as Christ gave Himself for the church, husbands are called to love their wives sacrificially, prioritizing their needs and well-being above their own: Eph. 5:25, “...love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her....” There can be no argument that the man must be the example in a marriage. I may sound unfair to men, but it is up to us to make the first move, to be the Christ-like example to our wives, to act humbly rather than arrogantly, to remain calm instead of angry, and to ensure that we treat her in the way Jesus would have us do.
Christ did not wait for us to behave perfectly before He acted righteously and out of love. As men, we don’t like losing, but we must realize that being a god-fearing husband who treats his wife well, despite our egos, is not losing. I have no desire to win a confrontation with my wife. I want solutions that are spiritual and beneficial for both of us. I do not try to win some “man-trophy” for always being right or overpowering her with my aggression. I understand that she will respond to my attitude, so I remain calm, logical, and reasonable, providing her with an example to follow. As a man, my role in marriage requires humility, compassion, and a commitment to nurture and protect the relationship, creating an environment where my wife feels cherished and valued.
Of course, the wife also has a Godly role to fulfill in the relationship. Her part in God’s design for marriage involves a willing submission to both her husband and the Lord. This does not suggest inferiority but rather highlights the mutual interdependence and partnership that God intended within marriage. Her voluntary submission is an expression of trust, both in God’s plan and in her husband’s leadership under Christ. She is neither a slave nor a subordinate in the marriage, but she is called, according to God’s design, to be submissive. When treated with loving kindness by a husband who exemplifies the best Christian qualities, she should respond in kind. Doing so fosters unity, respect, and harmony, ensuring that the marriage reflects the relationship between Christ and the church.
Both husband and wife are ultimately under the authority of Christ. This mutual submission ensures that the marriage remains rooted in God’s Word and His purposes. When each partner focuses on serving and honoring Christ, they are empowered to serve and honor one another, creating a marriage that glorifies God and reflects His love for the world. The couple who had returned God to His rightful place in their marriage had decided to use 1Co.13:4-7 as the mantra for their relationship:
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
The key to their restoration was replacing Satan’s lies with God’s truth. They recommitted their lives to Christ, remembering Jesus’ promise in Mat. 6:33: “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” With God at the heart of the relationship, their priorities shifted from self-centeredness to Christ-centeredness. If you are struggling in your marriage, take heart. No matter how deep the wounds are, Christ can restore what seems beyond repair. Commit to placing Him in His rightful position in your relationship. Drive the devil out by grounding your marriage in prayer, Scripture, and the love of God. When Christ is the foundation, no storm can destroy what you’ve built.